Yesterday: a private sweat lodge, next to a busy road near Amsterdam. Commuting traffic rushes by, but I focus on myself: the darkness of the lodge, the heat of the stones, and the beat of the drum make me go deep inside. My intention is on healing: my head often seems disconnected from my body: very uncomfortable.
While I am taking in the heat, sweating, I get to see above as below. There is really no difference between heaven and earth. But to be able to connect both I need to express who I really am. I see myself in a past live, being humiliated. I block my voice, and also my inner light. In the lodge I feel I have a choice. I start making sounds, singing a nursery song; calling my spirit back home.
I ask for eight more hot stones. Eight: the number of connection, eternity, oneness. Minutes later I am giving birth to my daughter. The sadness of the things that went so wrong, so differently than I intended, overwhelms me. A cry wells up from deep inside. Again I make a choice: this time my (her?) birth will be soft and effortless. When the heat becomes too much, I will not fight. I crawl outside, where I am welcomed by a soft hand. When the crying passes, she pours ice cold water over my head. I feel baptized, born again.
The lodge is like a dream: everything is connected and very meaningful when you’re inside, but sort of distant and illogical a few hours later.
Reijgersbroeck facilitates private, couples’ and group sweat lodges: www.reijgersbroeck.nl. (Picture: www.erikbuis.nl.)